The Economic Crisis

So apparently the economy is crashing. Some big shot borrowed money and didn't pay it back and stocks are plummeting and the dollar is down. In this time of crisis I bet you are just losing your shit. What the hell do we do? Why didn't I get a job when there was Jobs to get? Will Dior Homme still be able to put out a full line next season? I know you, my avid readers, are all asking these questions. Well, luckily I am skilled in being in an economic crisis. Having spent all my money on sushi and Pho 88, I must now budget and was broke 'd broke at the end of last year. I have collected information from last years financial report (it looked like this - 8.00$ retained earnings) and will now pass on to you the finesse that is being broke.

1. Cabbage.



Not only is it crazy good looking and grows in layers over itself thus decreaseing the amount you have to wash because the inner layers are protected by the outer and thus don't need to be washed, but it is also one of the cheapest vegetables out there being a steady 49 cents a pound at your local Asian Supermarket. Cabbage, combined with cheap as onions, carrots and your room mates gluten free soy sauce make for a very filling meal. Ask Shauna Kewin if you don't believe me.

2. Don't buy new shoes.

So what if all 3 pairs of your old 10 dollar shoes have holes in the soles, that is what socks are for. If you don't have socks like THIS GUY and your parents haven't sent you closed toed stockings in the mail with your new blender (unlike THIS GUY) then you will just have to wear your 20 dollar pair of shoes from last winter even though they smell like vinegar, are covered in steamed milk from your shit job at Second Cup and are a 1/4 size to small.

3. Walk every where, no matter what.

So what if you were at a friend of a friends house drinking liters of wine and your feet are so cracked that you can barley put any pressure on them, you just have to walk. While transit is less expensive than a cab, personal car or jet pack it is still upwards of 2.25 in almost every city. Add up two transit rides and there goes your Hot and Sour soup budget for the weak. If I've learned one thing, it's never compromise your Hot and Sour soup budget.

Now, you bright young souls, take what I gave given you and run like the wind. Not too far though, because you will have to walk back to the Asian Supermarket when you get hungry and your feet will hurt if you walk for like, 2 hours every day (like THIS GUY).

Also, this weeks reader of the month award goes to Santana Saftenberg. Your plaque is in the mail.