Coffee Time

Second Cup actually.

Today I asked a "guest" if they "wanted anything else this morning". He replied, the 2 hours it took me to get here. Sorry man, I can't brew that on my Barista 98 but I can offer you a low-fat bluberry muffin with omega 3.

If Bruce Springsteen was a Comdiean I wouldn't be here.

I have 784 Bruce Springsteen songs on my computer. Half of those are just duplicates of the actual songs, so I really only have 784/2 BS songs on my computer. That is still more Bruce then I have ever wanted to listen to . if I wanted Bruce, I would just sing about a penguin (don't know what that is referencing but I know it's something and someone will find it funny) or just tell my sister to grin real big (Bruce from Nemo impression). As for (sounds like) BS there is 35 mp3 files - no copies, only beats.

When eating mangos I get all up in those bitches. Seriously, there is mango every where and it is a mess. More of the juice really then physical mango but regardless of which physical mango state it is, it makes my computer sticky.

How to be more lazy - Bras on the outside.

Beefs

Man, I really need to get facebook mobile so that when I take sweet pix of my gurlz at the CLUB I can upload them right away so everyone can see just how hawt we rrrr.

Oh I am hilarious.

Aside from my beef with mobile updating of already over frequented social networking sites, I also have a beef with my epidermis. Yeah you, you heard me. Don't try and hide yourself away under my only pair of socks you dried cracked heels. And what about you, my poor right hand middle and ring fingers? There is no where for you to hide. I can barely type because of you. Not to mention write notes, hold books, flip pages or fail aggravatingly. Getting in the way of dishes and enjoyable smoking is one thing, but I am in kick school ass mode right now and you are harshin my mellow.

Just saying.

I just got this BONAH. Not.

I just burped and almost threw up in my mouth a little bit.

So, the B key on my keyboard is on the fritz. You have to type it twice if you want it to show up. This happens periodically with different letters on my keyboard. It rotates. My computer is drunk. As was I, Last night, which is why I feel awful right now as I attempt to finish my magnum of school work.

Lost: One grandmothers pearl earring. Somewhere between the dance floor and the bathroom at Rancho Relaxo. Let me know.

Found: My phone, thanks to the radiant Alexa Mckenzie and her boy chatting skills.

Needed: More Brains and more tylenol.

Stay tuned for pictures of last nights ballability. Up close and personal. BS for LIFE.

The Economic Crisis

So apparently the economy is crashing. Some big shot borrowed money and didn't pay it back and stocks are plummeting and the dollar is down. In this time of crisis I bet you are just losing your shit. What the hell do we do? Why didn't I get a job when there was Jobs to get? Will Dior Homme still be able to put out a full line next season? I know you, my avid readers, are all asking these questions. Well, luckily I am skilled in being in an economic crisis. Having spent all my money on sushi and Pho 88, I must now budget and was broke 'd broke at the end of last year. I have collected information from last years financial report (it looked like this - 8.00$ retained earnings) and will now pass on to you the finesse that is being broke.

1. Cabbage.



Not only is it crazy good looking and grows in layers over itself thus decreaseing the amount you have to wash because the inner layers are protected by the outer and thus don't need to be washed, but it is also one of the cheapest vegetables out there being a steady 49 cents a pound at your local Asian Supermarket. Cabbage, combined with cheap as onions, carrots and your room mates gluten free soy sauce make for a very filling meal. Ask Shauna Kewin if you don't believe me.

2. Don't buy new shoes.

So what if all 3 pairs of your old 10 dollar shoes have holes in the soles, that is what socks are for. If you don't have socks like THIS GUY and your parents haven't sent you closed toed stockings in the mail with your new blender (unlike THIS GUY) then you will just have to wear your 20 dollar pair of shoes from last winter even though they smell like vinegar, are covered in steamed milk from your shit job at Second Cup and are a 1/4 size to small.

3. Walk every where, no matter what.

So what if you were at a friend of a friends house drinking liters of wine and your feet are so cracked that you can barley put any pressure on them, you just have to walk. While transit is less expensive than a cab, personal car or jet pack it is still upwards of 2.25 in almost every city. Add up two transit rides and there goes your Hot and Sour soup budget for the weak. If I've learned one thing, it's never compromise your Hot and Sour soup budget.

Now, you bright young souls, take what I gave given you and run like the wind. Not too far though, because you will have to walk back to the Asian Supermarket when you get hungry and your feet will hurt if you walk for like, 2 hours every day (like THIS GUY).

Also, this weeks reader of the month award goes to Santana Saftenberg. Your plaque is in the mail.

5:57 and 13 seconds.

Currently playing: Clouds That Look Like Things
Saw them last night at their CD release party. They are boys and they are good looking. And they play music. Nuff said.

Current favorite: Kittenwar.com. In particular this one.

Current grievance: Having to soak my nose in a tea cup with hot water and non-iodized sea salt twice a day cause of these bitches:


That is all.

Cash Flow

Did you know:

Free toilet paper is way cheaper than bought toilet paper.



I would like to thank my program building and Pho 88 for not apprehending me as I was taking some free toilet paper.

Should I be apprehended one day and be forced to buy tp, it will all be ok because my boss pied me to run home and deliver 3 bags of hot chocolate syrup to his other store by my house. That's the best 9 dollars i've ever made